Tales for Awful People


The Indiscrete Woodcock
October 25, 2010, 2:33 pm
Filed under: Love | Tags: ,

Deep in the heart of a forest, order long, long ago, there lived a young woodcock whose colors were dim, whose eyes were not keen, and whose tail feathers were perpetually mussed in a comical manner. Still, the woodcock was convinced that he had a good heart and a sparkling personality, and he would find happiness if only the right female could know his inner life.

So one night the woodcock went to Kinkos and signed onto their internet (because his home connection was down). There he set up a heartfelt MySpace profile, where he posted an especially flattering photograph from several years before, inflated his yearly income, and mentioned his enjoyment of sensual massage and tantric sex.

Days went by, and nothing happened except a bunch of bands wanted to add him, in order to promote their shows. Finally, months after he had abandoned the whole enterprise, his parents indicated that they had found his profile while doing an internet search on his company.

The woodcock flew outside in mortification, and was so flustered that he did not notice the hawk flying above him. And that is the end of the story about the indiscrete woodcock.

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