Tales for Awful People

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The Misguided Armadillo
October 11, 2010, 11:03 pm
Filed under: Love | Tags: , ,

Texas in the summer is a dry and dusty place, click baking hot during the day and baking hot at night. The armadillo is used to such extremes, patient thanks to her protective shell. One day she began to notice a co-worker, a rattlesnake in accounting, as more than a friend. She sidled up to him, and struck up a conversation about wine. This led to them meeting for drinks, which led to sundry goings on in the back seat of a Nissan Pathfinder. All went well for several months, but the Armadillo started to notice the rattlesnake was avoiding her, only agreeing to spend time on certain nights of the week. At first he hissed and rattled and dodged the question, but he finally admitted that he had a mate and a nest of eggs.

The armadillo was beside herself, but after talking to several other armadillos over cosmos, she became buoyed by stories of armadillos who knew armadillos who had successfully moved past affairs. So she screwed up her courage and went to the rattlesnake’s nest. He was out, but she talked to his mate, thinking she could force the issue and at last gain freedom for the rattlesnake. His mate became enraged and coiled up to strike. The armadillo said “Haha, I have a tough shell, you won’t be able to hurt me!” The rattlesnake said “Oh, really?” and lashed out. The armadillo rolled up in a ball, but kept rolling back into the road. Right into the path of an oncoming semi truck.

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